Character Carrie Bradshaw –played by Jessica Parker in the hit HBO series, Sex and the City- once asked herself if society had become “romance-intolerant”. This got me thinking and finally leading up to the conclusion, that yes, I do believe that we –as the multi-faceted, fast pace society we are- have indeed become romance-intolerant. Not to sound too stereotypical here –when in fact, that is exactly how I’m sounding-, but women are always complaining about how men are emotionally retarded. However, there is one common theory about women; that we have no fucking clue what we want, and it is true! We believe something, want something at one moment, and then completely change our minds at the next. There was even a movie made to back-up this predominant male ideology; a little movie called, “What Women Want”.
Through the tugging and pulling of the genders, have we eventually become numb to the romantics of the past, whereby courting a woman involved more than a simple number exchange? The same goes for same-sex relationships, of course. My friend and I were discussing this very issue the other day and I remember asking her her opinion on the matter. Contrary, she does not believe we have become romance-intolerant, but have rather, predictably, become caught up in our ever-changing perception of what love is. Thus, we’re left with several different possibilities of love. So, I asked myself; can it really be possible to love significant others in completely distinct and yet still significant ways? Are we sure we’re not just trying to make excuses for ourselves, when in fact we have become romance-intolerant and we’ve just yet to realize…or better yet, accepted it?
My friend, we’ll call her Eve, continuously let a guy she’d completely fallen for drag her along like a raggedy Anne doll. He would pick her up, exasperate his undying love for her, and then literally disappear for week on end and come back only to give her yet another elaborate apology. Now, reading this, you’re sure to say you wouldn’t let this happen to you, if it hasn’t already. But, how do you really know you’re not that girl, the girl that accepts the apologies to be able to believe and trust in something that was never even there to begin with? Maybe we’re just faking our love, however ludicrous it may sound. I mean, we’d basically be doing what we’re taught to do right? “Fake it ‘til you make it?” For many women, it’s as though we’re attracted to the completely wrong guys and when, to the blind stranger, it seems as though the right one’s come along for us, we dump them because we’re not used to the “real thing”. Sometimes, we even isolate ourselves so that we won’t make the same mistakes again, but with isolation come desolation.
The majority of the modern, media-based peoples are too caught up in their own conundrums to think about properly courting their potential partner, let alone be open to a relationship that is sitting right in front of their noses. Of course, there are still the old-fashioned flower-bringers and hand-kissers, but that’s what the whole concept goes back to; the term, “old-fashioned”. Why have these actions and ways of courting become so passé? Is it because –irregardless-, of our dreams involving the fantasy lover and grand love-affair, we still feel that urge to cringe at the sight of our significant other bringing us flowers or kissing our hand. Shouldn’t this be common ground for the both of us, without cringe and/or fuss of embarrassment? Will we ever be able to wake-up to our true desires and embrace the romance and all of its sub-actions, instead of fearing and loathing the mere thought? Forget about first-person actions, what about second-person reactions? Let’s not forget those reactions to PDAs (for those of you living under a rock: public displays of affection). Those dirty looks, the murmurs of disapproval and even disgust at times. I gotta say, either we really have become romance-intolerant, or we’ve never really experienced love at all, and this begs the question; I wonder why?